May 17 2013

Celebrating Life & Motherhood

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Lately, I have found myself complaining on how exhausted I have been trying to juggle and manage everything that I need to do everyday. Daily life can be overwhelming and tiring, and these seem to justify my complaints.

I have realized that our default is to whine about life, and how complicated and difficult it can be. Celebrating life and being grateful seems to go against the tide of our instinctive emotions.

I had an “epiphany” a few months back on what I want my blog’s overarching theme to be. I want it to be about Celebrating Life and Motherhood. Most people I believe are like me who often find more of what is lacking, what we want and what is wrong in our lives more than rejoicing in what has already been given to us and what we have been blessed with. Most moms like me have failed to find the gift of life everyday and have lost the zest and joy in their current circumstances. Sometimes we look way far into the future, what we dream to do, where we want to go to, what we want to achieve, and who we want to become. We no longer see the beauty of today and the blessing of the season that we are currently in.

I hope that every entry that I will write will inspire you to celebrate every single moment that God has given to you. I heard this song in one of the singing competitions on TV. The song has a line that says “to live like you were dying”. Sounds morbid but true. The truth is our life is but a gift and every moment is precious.

There are moments where I stare at my children wondering how many times I have missed being in the present having not cherished every single second that I have with them. I wonder how many times have I busied myself accomplishing tasks, forgetting to laugh with them, play with them, and just simply be with them to enjoy the time that I have with them. I wonder how often I have made a big deal about trivial matters with my husband instead of choosing to make beautiful memories with him just to simply love and serve him. I wonder how many times I have chosen a clean and organized house over letting my kids have the freedom to move around, create, have fun, and play in our home.

I don’t want to wait for tomorrow to have my best life. I want to choose to be grateful for today and all that it brings. Every day has its blessings. Each day has its gifts. Every breath, every moment is sacred and precious. A heart that is grateful is a heart that celebrates.

How can we have grateful hearts? I thought back to how I was before and how I thought the universe revolved around me. This is the contrasting truth that hit my head, and changed my heart: It is not about me. It has never been about me and will never be about me. I have realized that there is no space for a sense of entitlement in a heart that is grateful. I am grateful because I am a sinner and I am worthless but I was saved through grace and the inexplicable love of my savior, Jesus Christ. My worth has never been and will never be based on what I do, accomplish, how I look, who I know, or what others think of me. My worth and my identity is based on what Jesus did for me. Period. And all that I have in my life, my husband, my children, my family, friends, work, my talents, well literally everything are not mine and I will never be deserving of any of them. These are all gifts, all blessings, all underserved, but nevertheless given by God’s abundant grace.

I pray that I do not forget this. Or when if I do, I pray that I get reminded of this truth. I want to celebrate my life and my motherhood everyday. I want to be thankful and appreciate each moment that I am blessed with. I want to live my life to the fullest living out God’s purposes for my life each day and in so doing honor God with the life that He has graciously given me.

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Apr 21 2013

Irreducible Minimums

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It is so much easier to make decisions when priorities are set in place. There are a lot of times several things demand my time and attention. And at times this can be overwhelming. I found that having priorities have made me say no to things that may be good and worthwhile but not necessarily important to take on or attend to. When several opportunities come my way, my priorities and my values guide me on what is for me and what is not. Everyday I am not only juggling numerous activities but I am also streamlining what comes my way.

The past week have been hectic mostly for professional and relational commitments for my husband and myself. I wanted so much to write and blog but that too had to take the back seat. The few times that we were at home during the evenings, my husband and I decided to clear out everything so we can talk, spend time, and have a date even if it was just at home. I usually do my writing when the kids are asleep. But since I know my priorities I have to do what is necessary for me to spend time with my husband, JA. After God, my husband is the most important person in my life so I chose to make time for what was valuable to me.

In the busyness of life, I find it comforting to know that I can choose how to spend my time. My priorities are God, my husband, my children, my home, my work, my relationships, and also time for myself. Priorities have served like a grid in how I sift through my schedules. At the same time, I think the way I spend my time and my resources validates what I value and prioritize.

My hope is that through God’s grace and wisdom I will be able to honor God with how I use my time. I cringe at the thought of how much time I have wasted growing up. But now that I know better I desire to use every minute of what I have in a way that pleases God. I also want to live my life in such a way that I will not have any regrets. I once heard the term irreducible minimums. It is important to know which are your irreducible minimums: things and roles that only you can do. When I reflect on that only two things are constant. I am irreplaceable as a wife to my husband and as a mom to my kids. That is why they will always take premium importance in how I live each day and how I plan to use up the limited time and energy that I have.

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Apr 10 2013

Reminder for Mommy: They are children!

Conversing with my four year old daughter is always interesting. She is just someone who never runs out of words, thoughts, and ideas. She can practically talk to me about anything and she can talk practically the whole day. Sometimes, even when she is about to fall asleep, a thought will still pop up in her head. The past few days I had some interesting conversations with her that led me into reflecting how I have been as a parent.

I can’t recount the exact scenario but I think I was asking her why she couldn’t recall exactly what her daddy said and in effect what she told me seemed far off what my husband told her. Her reply to me was “Mommy, I really can’t remember!” I kept prodding until she said “I am just a child Mommy. I don’t remember everything!”

On another incident, I kept calling her and she did not answer right away. I went to her and I tried to explain to her how disappointed I was. I told her “Andi, Mommy is getting mad because I was calling you and you did not respond to me right away.” Andi replied, also seemingly confused and a bit frustrated “Mommy, I don’t know what respond means so please don’t use that word to me first.”

There were a few more instances that she seemed to be relaying that she’s just a child. I have realized then that I may have been exasperating her. Upon praying about it, God showed me that I may have put an unnecessary burden on her to be perfect and that was not just unrealistic but also unfair.

I do believe that children are smarter than what we think. I do believe too that young people can do great things, be excellent, and can be leaders even when they are young. But I too believe that they are just children and they are young just once. I am guilty of sometimes if not often expecting too much (especially from my eldest child, who is just 4years old!). It is like I am expecting them to process things properly, have the same maturity level (mentally and emotionally) like I do, and to decide on the right things like adults–as if adults like me have done those perfectly.

I still am committed to lead my children to God, to teach and train them, to take care of them and to help them nurture their gifts. But I don’t want them to have the pressure to be perfect to please me. What I am praying for is that they will grow up loving God and wanting to please God above all, and not to please men.

I also pray for wisdom to discern when my children are being outright rebellious, thus requiring correction and discipline or when they are simply being children.

So reminder for me: Andi is just four years old and Emman is just one year old. They are just children! If I remember that, I will spare myself from self-imposed disappointments and frustrations and I will allow myself to enjoy them and my times with them more. I guess my children will enjoy more being with their mommy too.

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Apr 6 2013

The Gift of Sleep and Rest

Every night, I try to put the kids to sleep early. The time that comes after that is often the only time that I have for myself. So I use that to accomplish unfinished work at home, spend time with my husband, watch shows that I like (during the day, the TV is usually dominated by kids’ shows or basketball games when my husband is home), checking and updating my social networks (Instagram, Facebook and Twitter), do my reading and quiet time, and now to add to all this, it is my time to blog too. Very rarely am I able to blog at this time (3pm).
Last night I was determined to write a post because I wanted to gain momentum in my writing again. Much to my disappointment, I fell asleep while putting the kids to sleep. I woke up nearly midnight already! I tried to push myself to get up and actually check outside the room if there were stuff I needed to do and I so wanted to try to write. But my body refused to move out of bed. Before I knew it I was back in dreamland and I woke up at 8 in the morning.
I realized that I have a tendency to neglect rest altogether in the pursuit of being more productive. I have forgotten that rest, like recreation, can often take the back seat of our priorities. This produces not just an unbalanced life but an unhealthy one. Rest is just as important as activity. The key is knowing when it is time to move and work and when it is time to stop and simply rest. That is how to become a good steward of the time that God has given.
With this in mind, I pray for the wisdom of how to live daily. And I hope that I do not succumb to the temptation of being in the extreme–lest I be lazy or I will be burning myself out.
In the end, it is still all faith. It is faith when I believe that I do everything unto the Lord. Therefore I should give my very best in all that I do. It is faith too when I can rest knowing that my God is in control and His mercies and grace is new everyday for everything that I need to face and do every day. I trust that God who is sovereign over my life will sustain me as I sleep. I have learned that sleep is a gift given to me, and as I receive it gratefully, I acknowledge my full dependence on my Creator and my loving Father who is always looking after me and who is always working on His purposes for my life.

It is now 11pm. I had to stop writing this afternoon due to my home and motherly duties. Now my day is about to end. I am now going to sleep! And I will enjoy every minute of it.

Psalm 3:5 I lie down and sleep; I awake again because The Lord sustains me.

Hebrews 4:1 … since the promise of entering is rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.

You may also like: NIght and Day

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Apr 4 2013

I am back, again. Chronicles of a Frustrated Blogger

I am back, again. I have been thinking and wanting to blog for a long time now. It has been months, well to be exact 10 months since I last wrote on this site. For the few who used to read my posts, my apologies. With two kids, (a 4 year old who is very active and who is beginning to have more and more activities and social life, and a 1year and 3 months who is running around and still very dependent and attached to me), transferring homes, and having no permanent inhouse help, it has been quite a challenge to get back into the groove of writing again. Maybe it is the sitting down to gather my thoughts and put them into writing that made it unappealing to me. Usually, when the kids are settled down and asleep is the only time that I get to have quality time with my husband JA or these are the times I consider sacred for me for it is “my alone and quiet time” and I have used it for things that do not require any thinking on my part.
Anyway, here I am trying to start again. Social media networks have made it so easy to communicate with others that it has been an easier resort to post something in Instagram or to tweet my random thoughts. However, I find myself still finding it inadequate in terms of sharing what I want to impart or sometimes to even just to fully document something that has transpired in my life.
Since it has been so hard for me just to get myself to write again, I came up with a “solution”. I told my husband that I was just going to write as much as I can, as often as I can without any pressure of coming up with a great piece or an article we want to publicly share and promote for others to read. I have been giving a lot of thought about the identity that I want my site/blog to have. I also need to write more in my profile and in the “About Me” part of this site.
I have so many thoughts that need I need to sort and write down. I will be back soon, hopefully tomorrow to do this again. But at least for today, I got up and forced myself to type on the keyboards again.

So goodnight for now, world!
I shall return. And I will write again.

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