A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
–Prov 14:1

I want to be a wise woman who builds. I hope you do too.

In marriage, in parenting, in our home and family, in living our lives, let’s choose to build. Faced with countless decisions that we have to make in a day, we have the choice either to build or destroy. We make this choice in our thoughts, in our words, in our actions.

I hope to be a woman who is wise and who chooses to build in everything she does. It is attainable. It is something we can aspire for. It is something we can do. And a wise woman is something that we can be.

This is the first part of the series on A Wise Woman Builds. Here are a few tips on how to build through your words.

How do I build through my words?
Proverbs 18:21 “… the tongue can kill or nourish life.”
Speak only words that bring life.

• Speak words that build up your husband. Tell him that you are proud of him. Do not speak ill of him (even if you want to), directly or indirectly. Thank him for providing for you and your family. Pray for him. Bless him. (If you are a wife, I highly encourage you to get a copy of the book, Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O’Martian.)



• Speak words that affirm, encourage, and comfort your children. Regularly tell them that you love them. Correct out of love and reaffirm them. Bless them. Speak and confess their great destinies in God. Pray for them. (If you are a mom, the Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie O’Martian and Bless your Children Everyday by Dr. Mary Ruth Swope are good books to use to pray for and bless your children).
• Sometimes you build by choosing not to speak at all. There are times when the best thing to do is to not say anything. I usually resort to this when I am extremely upset and emotional, stressed and tired. Based on experience, these are the moments wherein I say things that I afterwards regret saying. So I have decided that it is wisest to shut up and cool down.

Proverbs 10;19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

• Do not nag!

Proverbs 21: 9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill tempered wife.
Need I say more?

• -Choose not to retaliate. I often am tempted to do this when offensive or hurtful words are said against me. But I have learned too that it is wisest not to retaliate because it often fuels the fire and makes arguments and fights worse.
• Say I am sorry often. And say it quick.
• Say I forgive you often. And mean it.
• Do not be historical. Really, does it help if we do this?
• Confess the Word of God. And believe it.

A wise woman builds. And she builds her marriage, her family, her home, her life, and her relationships through her words.

Disclaimer: I have in no way mastered these. But this is what I am aiming for. By God’s grace, I know I can be the woman God wants me to be. I know you can be too.

To those who are single, you do not need to wait until you are married and have children to be this kind of woman. Learning this early on will be of great advantage to you. Proverbs 31 says that a wife of noble character does good to her husband all the days of her life. You start blessing your future husband with the life that you live now.

The next part of this series will be on Building through your Thoughts.

Please send me suggestions and comments, and feel free to write to me your thoughts. Thanks!