I imagine sometimes what it would be like to give up on the most important relationships in my life. Just to set the records straight on the onset, I have no plan on doing this. I just imagine at times what it would have been like if I did.

I imagine what if I gave up on my relationship with God when there are things I do not understand, or when I feel He has been silent when I needed answers, or just because maybe I want to please myself and the world more than I want to please Him. Or maybe because I just choose to give up because it is too hard. (as if it depends on me and not on His grace). Maybe because honoring God means I am not the center of the universe, and it is never me but always about Him.
I could do that, but I could have lost literally the chance to experience the fullness of what God has for me. I could have missed out on knowing Him more and experiencing His great love for me. What a loss it would have been.

I imagine giving up on my marriage, and my relationship with JA. Maybe because, despite the truth that marriage is wonderful, there really are ups and downs, and you and your husband really don’t meet eye to eye all the time. Or maybe because I get disappointed when my needs and my wants aren’t met (as if my marriage is about me and what I want and need).
I could do that, but I could have missed out on the years that could have been beautiful, the memories we could have built. I could have lost the chance to experience the most fulfilling of all human relationships that can only happen in a marriage. I could have lost the chance of growing old with the man God has given me, and the chance to build a family with him and to pursue God’s dreams for us together. What a loss it would have been.

I imagine giving up on my parenting, giving up on Andi (and theoretically my future children). Maybe because, the truth is parenting is a LOT of work. Or maybe because, I want to think of myself more than serving or taking care of my child. Maybe I just want to prioritize my dreams first (as if my dreams are not achieved together with my family. They are never to be left behind).
I could do that, but I could have missed out on the joy of seeing and holding my child everyday. I could have lost the opportunity to speak into their lives and plant seeds in their hearts. I could have given up on the chance to raise up godly men and women who can do great things for God and be a blessing to the whole world as they live out God’s purposes for their lives. I could have missed out on seeing them grow and bloom into the persons they were created to be. I could have lost the chance to see them get married and raise up their own families. Oh, I could have missed out on being a grandmother and a great mother! What a loss it would have been.

A commitment to my relationships–specifically my relationship with God, my husband and my child is a decision I make every single day. This is a commitment I renew each day.
But I do it, and I want to do it, and I cannot see any other way to live life but to honor and keep those commitments. I am going to stick it through no matter what it takes.
Because I want to see the full picture. I want to experience and live out the whole story—not just a part of it.